Beast Boy's Thoughts
by x chew baka x
Summary: Several little drabbles about what Beast Boy is thinking about our favorite Boy Wonder. Well, they're longer than drabbles, but read and review anyway!
1. Perfect

**Just some of Beast Boy's thoughts. There'll be plenty more!**

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Fuck off. I don't want to hear it. I don't want you telling me everything's okay when it's not. The only thing that is okay is you. Me, on the other hand, not so okay. Actually, not okay at all. I'm a fucking idiot, and I should have seen it coming. I should have thought before I spoke. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know if I was thinking at all. Well, maybe I was; maybe I was thinking you might feel the same way. Maybe I thought you might love me back. But that's not how unrequited love works, huh? Whatever. I shouldn't have told you. Plain and simple. I just completely regret it.

I regret it because now, everything is different. Whether you want it to be or not, it is. Don't tell me it's not. It's just that, now it won't be easy. Nothing will be easy. It won't be easy to hide the way I feel with my mask of happiness. You'd see right through me. You probably already do. Hell, it's not going to be easy to even be around you. How am I supposed to even face you? How am I supposed to face the world?

Maybe I don't have to face the world. Maybe I could just put myself out of my misery, and save the world from all my bull shit fakeness. It'd be better that way. For everyone. No more masks. And nobody would have to help me out of this slump. Nobody would have to guide me through depression. Through sickness. It will just be better, for everyone.

I know you'll encourage me not to. Because you're just so fucking nice. Bull shit. You wear masks too. Hell, you're Robin. Your job is to wear a mask. But figuratively, c'mon, we all wear masks. I'm just good at spotting them. You wear many masks. Sure, there's the one you save the world in. Then there's the one where you play nice to impress. To impress her. To impress everyone. To make them all see how fucking wonderful you are. But mainly, to get her to notice you. It sucks, huh? Trying to get someone to notice you. And then you finally build the courage to make them notice you and they just plain reject you. Well, you'll never know how that feels. You're perfect. So good luck, even though you don't need it. You'll get her, I have no doubt. Because you're so fucking wonderful.

Why do I like you? Why do you do these things to me? Why am I the only one who sees through you?

Why am I the only one who shares your pain? Maybe that's why I like you. Because I know what you're going through to get her to notice you. And maybe because I know, deep down, that if you didn't have to be the one to save the world, get the girl, and be happy even when you're not, then you'd be a wonderfully genuine and honest person. And I adore that. I adore you. Your intelligence, your kindness, your courageousness, your manliness. It's all so amazing. Too bad you have to be Mr. Perfect. Because that just makes you imperfect. You've endured so much and you just have to pretend it's all done and gone away now. Even when it's not. You really are amazing. And I'm really selfish. I know, you have to be perfect to show the world it's okay. To be the backbone of the team. Just to make everyone realize that there is hope. And that's why I like you. That's why I love you.

But now, knowing you could never love me back, I have to do it. I have to stop hiding behind my masks and be a man, like you. Be smart and nice and courageous. And I have to get over you. And be myself. And live. And then I'll be ultimately happy. It's going to be hard getting over you though. But I know, being the nice person you are, you'll be there for me the whole time. But know that I'm here for you as well. You don't have to be perfect to me. Just honest.

I know you'll still pretend you don't need me though. You don't need anyone. That's okay. Just know, you'll get it. You'll get her, you'll overcome everything, and you will be happy. Honestly. You won't have to pretend anymore. Just because you are so … perfect. You'll save the world, get the girl, and be happy all of the time, and I'll sit back and watch. And smile. Knowing that I helped. And knowing that you helped me, as well as everyone else who idolizes you. And once you reach that happiness that I'm sure will come soon in your life, everything will be good. All will be right in the end. And you'll be happy. Everything will be perfect.

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**Check out next chapter! All of these are kind of similar. Review!**


	2. Remain In My Dreams

**Second drabble thingy that's a little more that 100 words. Only poem, I promise! Review!**

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Although I may be emerald green,  
I do have feelings too.  
And I know you may not like it, but  
My feelings are for you.

It may not be too proper  
For a boy to love a boy,  
But that will never change the way  
You fill my heart with joy.

I've loved you since we've entered  
This great tower that we're in;  
And love you even more  
After the battles that we win.

And when we're home I watch you  
As a spider in your room;  
And I do enjoy the scent of  
Your refreshing man-perfume.

You do not know about the love  
From you I try to hide;  
Nor do you know the fact  
That I wish to be your bride.

I love you from afar  
And dream about you every night.  
But if I ever told you, you would  
Kick me out in spite.

You'd boot me from your life and then  
You'd throw me from the team.  
But even then, I'm confident,  
My love for you would gleam.

So I'll love you from a distance  
Just to keep you in my sight.  
And when alone I'll show the love  
I feel for you with might.

Maybe soon you'll come to me  
And say you love me too.  
But if you ever said that  
It would really be untrue.

For who could ever love  
A Beast Boy such as I?  
All I am to you is just some  
Green skinned funny guy.

But I won't forget our friendship  
Although it really seems  
The love I feel for you will  
Always remain in my dreams.

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**Well? I'm not so sure about the whole poetry thing. Review anyway!**


	3. Big Time Suckage

**Third one. I like this one. I love Robin, but I'm making him seem like an ass... Oh well!**

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_Why?_ Why isn't happiness achievable for _me_? Why can't _I _be the one who is content with his life? I guess it's my fault; or my nature. That and the fact that everyone else seems so damn happy when I'm not. Everybody but me has that someone or that something that keeps them going; keeps them alive. They _live_ for it. The person or thing that gives them hope. The person or thing that motivates them to even survive.

But not me. I haven't got anything; or anyone. Nothing but my own suicidal, crazy thoughts. They're the only thing keeping me going. They keep me company when I'm in need. And it sucks, but they're not good enough. I want more than what I think and dream.

Thoughts and dreams are painful. Really, really painful. They make you lonely. Make you think nobody cares. Happy people don't have to think. They just know what to do. They know everything is okay, as long as they have that _someone _guiding them through life. That someone that keeps them alive. _That someone …_

But I've got to have _something _keeping me here other than my thoughts. How else would I still be energized enough to take on this obstacle called life? Maybe I do have that someone. That someone that I think of nonstop. The someone inspiring my thoughts and dreams. That someone who makes me happy, even if they don't feel the same way. Even though _he _doesn't feel the same way. I still love him, and _he_ is what keeps me going.

He may share the same feeling as me. But that doesn't mean they are directed towards me. _He_ likes _her_, and _she _likes _him_, and _he_ likes _someone else_, and that _someone else_ likes _someone else_. Maybe we all share the same feelings. Except for those damn happy people. Everybody but them share each other's pain.

But why is the pain necessary? Can't we all be happy somehow? What if_ she_ liked _him_ instead of _him_, and _he_ liked her back. What if _he_, my _he_, would love _me_? Then we'd all be happy, right? Then none of us would have to hurt, none of us would feel the pain. _Everyone would be happy._

But that's not the way it works, is it? It's only fucking natural to want what you can't have. _Damn_, that sucks. That sucks big time. For _me_ and _him _and _her_ and _he_.

_You feel my pain?_

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**Gar is so cute! Review, and look forward to a possible next one!**


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